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Postpartum Doula & Certified Fitness Trainer Offering Support in the Tri-Cities

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The (not so secret) Art of Honouring Our Stories

November 22, 2018 By Me2Admin Leave a Comment

Like you, I have a story. In fact, we have many stories. A plethora of seemingly small, or sometimes life altering large experiences that make us who we are. Stories that when spoken out loud have the power to connect, to heal and to honour us. So why aren’t we all spilling the beans?

When I took my Doula training back in March, I discovered so many women that were apprehensive to share their experiences – those pleasant or difficult. Since then, I began to see that it wasn’t just those women that weekend, but humanity as a whole. So, when this topic came up in a workshop I recently participated in about empowering motherhood, I was chomping at the bit to delve into it.

How many times have I watched a woman who had a difficult birth story make vague comments, but when given the chance to elaborate, they shift the attention onto someone else. Or a woman that had a wonderful birth experience, keep quiet amongst the other women. Over time and many deep conversations, I have come to learn this… The women that were not sharing their difficult stories were not doing so most of the time, because they didn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable by being a ‘damper.’ And the women that had pleasant stories didn’t want to share them, worried it would sound like they were gloating or worse — make the other women feel inadequate. So here we are, all too worried about everyone else, that we aren’t sharing at all. We aren’t connecting, celebrating, or grieving – we are just skimming the surface! The more I have talked about this topic, the more I have learned about what I believe to be one of the most important things we can do for one another…

HONOUR every story. Honour the woman in tears that had a c-section when she was planning on a home birth. And, also honour the woman beside her who is sharing how her birth was everything she hoped for. Sometimes we need those around us to support us through our grief. Or, at least respect that we are healing a little bit more every time we talk about it. And sometimes, we need to celebrate when something went our way!

Now, this way of thinking takes some practice, and a lot of self-awareness. It can be difficult at times when someone is spewing positivity to celebrate with them. It so often becomes a competition amongst one another. In addition, when things are not going well in our own life, or perhaps we had a very different experience, we so often hop on the spiteful train and think something on the lines of, “well aren’t you just a lucky duck”, unable to genuinely honour them. But, you see. That isn’t fair. It isn’t fair to the person that deserves a high five, and it is’t fair to you. Because, there will come a time when you have something to celebrate, but if you poo poo’ed all over Susan’s triumph, chances are she won’t want to celebrate your win.

What if instead of projecting our own icky feelings, we honoured one another’s story for what it is? What if, when we were feeling sad, we allowed ourselves to feel it. To share our grief and receive love and support from those we love — instead of worrying about being a party pooper. And, what if when we are stoked about something, we allowed ourselves to celebrate, instead of worrying about coming across arrogant?

Being humble does not mean you need to be quiet. Read that again.

You can be a humble, wonderful, supportive, and vulnerable human being while speaking out and taking up some dang space in this world.

So, if you’re having a crap day and you want to share. I honour you. I’ll give you a hug, send you an awkward selfie, or toss my hands in the air and scorn the world with you. And if you’re having a kick ass day – guess what? I HONOUR YOU. Let’s party!

The cool thing is, this doesn’t have to be just about motherhood. You can reap the benefits of deep connection and authentic relationships by using this (not so secret) talent, with everyone in your life. I challenge you to try it and watch your relationships evolve — especially the relationship with yourself. The more you honour others, the more you begin to honour yourself. So, “sayonara” self-deprecation and “hello” self-love!

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bottle feeding breastfeeding c-section cancer doula family feeding baby firsts first time mom fitlife foodlife friendship journey momlife motherhood my life parenting postpartum real life self growth survivor
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How do we manage time when it feels like there is never enough of it once baby arrives?
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I used to hear the above quote a lot — “sleep when the baby sleeps.” But for so many of us mamas, there are a plethora of reasons why this may be difficult.
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We would rather bathe, tidy up the house, make a phone call, have some down time because well, being woken up abruptly by a crying baby makes a nap sometimes not feel worth it. Or what if your baby is like mine was and doesn’t nap for longer than 20 minutes at a time? 😯
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A tip I always give mamas is that maybe you don’t sleep every time the baby is sleeping but aim to try to have a little rest every other day at least. Schedule it in. Be intentional. This takes the pressure off feeling like you ‘should’ be sleeping when on Wednesday you decide to devote that time to tinkering around with the other things on the list that also have the ability to fill your cup.
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So sure, sleep when the baby sleeps... sometimes. 😉
Getting outdoors 🌿 . . . As a mother, it is tou Getting outdoors 🌿
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As a mother, it is tough to get many quiet moments alone. Some of us maybe even feel a bit guilty for yearning for it. Dang that mama guilt hey? But if there is one piece of advice I can give all the women out there putting in the work raising up these littles — it’s get outdoors. Alone.
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There is something about nature that brings us back to earth from the chaotic orbit that can be motherhood. Fill your cup. Fill it right up from the inside out; and then pour back into your family from a more balanced version of yourself. 💛
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Today’s selfie brought to you by yours truly, in my happy place.
Well played pregnancy! So, what are some ways we c Well played pregnancy! So, what are some ways we can combat the dreaded morning/evening/all day nausea?
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Vitamin B6 - a well researched nutrient that can help ease nausea! Aim for 25mg every 8 hours and look for the active form, pyridoxal-5-phosphate. Don’t be alarmed if urine looks bright yellow as a result.
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Ginger - a medicinal root that’s been around for centuries. Recommended dose is 1000mg/day but divided into 3-4 doses to avoid heartburn.
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Magnesium - used to help relax muscles which may be useful in calming that overactive gag reflex associated with vomiting. It’s also been shown to aid in reducing the risk of unstable blood sugar which may also increases the risk of nausea during pregnancy.
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Some other remedies include essential oils like peppermint, lemon, grapefruit or citrus blends and acupressure bands — just make sure you consult a specialist in these fields if you decide to try them out!
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Hope this helps some of you queasy mamas. ♥️
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Hi, I’m Kim!

I am a DONA Intl member Doula, pre/post-natal fitness trainer and certified holistic nutrition consultant offering support in the Tri-Cities just outside of Vancouver, BC. Get in touch

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