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Postpartum Doula & Certified Fitness Trainer Offering Support in the Tri-Cities

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So, You’re a Mother…

July 5, 2018 By Me2Admin 6 Comments

The Not-So-Gentle Transition into Motherhood.

A baby is born, and with that, a Mother is born alongside it. You may have felt like a Mama as soon as you saw that plus sign on the pregnancy test, but nothing can prepare you for the overwhelming reality of meeting that little person in the flesh. What an amazing, beautiful thing! The love you feel for your newborn is something you have never experienced. This is better than you could have ever imagined.

Or, is it?

Most first time moms daydream about those first moments after birth. The first look at that little person you grew inside you. The car ride home, and the serenity in your house now that it includes your baby. But, the reality of becoming a parent is usually much different than we imagined, and the first month (or the twilight zone as I like to refer to it,) is more often than not, not as enjoyable as we dreamt it would be. Maybe it’s even downright, awful. How dare I even say that? I must be a terrible, evil person, if I don’t welcome this baby I wanted so badly into our lives with big smiles, and tears of bliss, I will most certainly be shunned from all of humanity!

Deep breath.

Let’s just be clear. You are still an amazing Mom, even if you’ve ever wondered, “What did I get myself into?”

Now that we have cleared that up, let’s just get real here. Because, well, real is kinda what I do. Are you reading this, thinking about when sweet little Ellie came home, and all she did was suck the life out of your raw, chapped nipples, explode bright yellow poop all over your clean leggings, and cry bloody murder? And the one thing she didn’t do, that you wished she would, was sleep? Maybe you even did what I did as a first time Mom, and sat up on the couch with her lying on your chest sound asleep, while you kept your eyes peeled on the television so you wouldn’t fall asleep. Because, it was “not safe” to sleep with her on you, and it wasn’t safe for her to sleep in your bed, and she wouldn’t sleep in her bassinet, so I guess this was how life was going to be now. Surely, I could make it through life with three hours of broken sleep a day, without the help of coffee (because caffeine is bad for baby and would surely keep her awake even more,) right?

WRONG. You will burn out, or go crazy, or both at the same time, which is what happened to me. Sort of. Around day four, I melted down, sobbing into my husband’s chest as he peeled the baby away from me and demanded I go lie down on the couch. He assured me he would hold her beside me so that I could be certain she was safe. Because, obviously, she wasn’t safe with anyone other than me.

By day five, I was thinking, “How could we possibly be fit to be parents? Clearly we were not made for this. We are probably going to royally screw this baby up! Will she ever sleep longer than 30 minutes at a time? Will I? Maybe I have postpartum depression. Maybe she should just go live with my Mom. Why don’t I feel the love for her that I should? I’m a terrible, awful mother and someone should take her away.” Sound familiar?

What if, dare I even say… You didn’t feel like you particularly loved your new baby? I mean, of course you loved her… But, you didn’t feel that soul connection. That intense love you had been anticipating. Yep, this is a thing.

I’m here to tell you… SO MANY NEW MOTHERS FEEL THE SAME WAY! Can you believe it? All this time, you could have been honest about how you felt and realized that there are other women in the exact same shoes. Maybe even met a few of them and formed friendships based off of this commonality. What a relief that would have been! The problem is… the movement to be honest and open about the difficult transition into motherhood, is a slow one. While you’re living it, you may feel guilt, shame, and embarrassment. Well, I’m here to tell you, to tell those feelings to beat it, because you, Mama, are amazing. And one day, when your baby is not a baby anymore (believe it or not, she will eventually leave babyhood, regardless of your inadequacy.) She will be growing, walking, talking — and you will realize that even though you thought you couldn’t do it, you could, and you did, and you are. Can you believe it? YOU. The mama who surely wasn’t fit for the job.

So before you meet your baby, or if your baby is asleep in your arms as you read this… and you can’t feel your bum anymore, but you dare not move in case she wakes up — remember that the transition into motherhood is a gradual one. Once we accept that, and learn to be gentle with ourselves, then we see that it’s day by day. Moment by moment sometimes — and every day you learn something new about how to parent. You find things that work for your baby and your baby alone, and you gain confidence. It’s true what they say, it really won’t be this difficult forever.

So darn it Stella, find that groove. The balance between motherhood and the outside world will come, and you will live to tell the tale.

Comments

  1. 1

    kelsey Gill says

    August 27, 2018 at 4:45 pm

    this is amzing Kimmi!

    Reply
    • 2

      Me2Admin says

      August 27, 2018 at 6:17 pm

      Thanks for the love girl <3

      Reply
  2. 3

    Emina says

    August 27, 2018 at 10:26 pm

    True, true, and more true.

    Reply
  3. 4

    Mariana says

    August 28, 2018 at 10:48 am

    Kim you know I’m a HUGE fan! Your posts kept me from feeling “alone” with the struggles of having two young babies. That transition period from 1 to 2 for me was so HARD! But you made me laugh at the hard times because we are not alone 🙂
    Can’t wait to read more 🙂

    Reply
    • 5

      Me2Admin says

      August 29, 2018 at 2:42 pm

      This is why I do what I do. Thanks for the love, and know you are never alone mama!

      Reply
  4. 6

    Jessica says

    August 29, 2018 at 3:24 pm

    Not a mama, but loved reading this. Helpful for me to maybe understand where my mama friends are coming from/how they are feeling.

    Reply

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Tags

bottle feeding breastfeeding c-section cancer doula family feeding baby firsts first time mom fitlife foodlife friendship journey momlife motherhood my life parenting postpartum real life self growth survivor
Time management in motherhood ⏰ . . . How do we Time management in motherhood ⏰ .
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How do we manage time when it feels like there is never enough of it once baby arrives?
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I used to hear the above quote a lot — “sleep when the baby sleeps.” But for so many of us mamas, there are a plethora of reasons why this may be difficult.
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We would rather bathe, tidy up the house, make a phone call, have some down time because well, being woken up abruptly by a crying baby makes a nap sometimes not feel worth it. Or what if your baby is like mine was and doesn’t nap for longer than 20 minutes at a time? 😯
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A tip I always give mamas is that maybe you don’t sleep every time the baby is sleeping but aim to try to have a little rest every other day at least. Schedule it in. Be intentional. This takes the pressure off feeling like you ‘should’ be sleeping when on Wednesday you decide to devote that time to tinkering around with the other things on the list that also have the ability to fill your cup.
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So sure, sleep when the baby sleeps... sometimes. 😉
Getting outdoors 🌿 . . . As a mother, it is tou Getting outdoors 🌿
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As a mother, it is tough to get many quiet moments alone. Some of us maybe even feel a bit guilty for yearning for it. Dang that mama guilt hey? But if there is one piece of advice I can give all the women out there putting in the work raising up these littles — it’s get outdoors. Alone.
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There is something about nature that brings us back to earth from the chaotic orbit that can be motherhood. Fill your cup. Fill it right up from the inside out; and then pour back into your family from a more balanced version of yourself. 💛
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Today’s selfie brought to you by yours truly, in my happy place.
Well played pregnancy! So, what are some ways we c Well played pregnancy! So, what are some ways we can combat the dreaded morning/evening/all day nausea?
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Vitamin B6 - a well researched nutrient that can help ease nausea! Aim for 25mg every 8 hours and look for the active form, pyridoxal-5-phosphate. Don’t be alarmed if urine looks bright yellow as a result.
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Ginger - a medicinal root that’s been around for centuries. Recommended dose is 1000mg/day but divided into 3-4 doses to avoid heartburn.
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Magnesium - used to help relax muscles which may be useful in calming that overactive gag reflex associated with vomiting. It’s also been shown to aid in reducing the risk of unstable blood sugar which may also increases the risk of nausea during pregnancy.
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Some other remedies include essential oils like peppermint, lemon, grapefruit or citrus blends and acupressure bands — just make sure you consult a specialist in these fields if you decide to try them out!
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Hope this helps some of you queasy mamas. ♥️
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Hi, I’m Kim!

I am a DONA Intl member Doula, pre/post-natal fitness trainer and certified holistic nutrition consultant offering support in the Tri-Cities just outside of Vancouver, BC. Get in touch

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