• Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Phone

Read my latest blog post here.

Me2You Wellness

Postpartum Doula & Certified Fitness Trainer Offering Support in the Tri-Cities

  • Home
  • Services
  • Packages & Pricing
  • Blog
  • About Me
  • Contact

From self-proclaimed “People Pleaser” to “Boundary Pusher”

September 10, 2018 By Me2Admin

My name is Kim. I am (almost 31 years old.) I like hiking, hanging with my fam, my dog, laughing until I pee a little and I have a confession to make. I am a recovering people pleaser.

Pushing the boundaries is a conflicting thing for someone like myself, because I also dislike drama. No, but, for real. Let me explain.

What I am beginning to learn is that, if “doing you” is what you wanna do and it entails pushing some boundaries, then there will be some drama. But drama makes you wanna barf. Well crap. So, what now? I think… yes…let’s roll with this… what it comes down to, is how you respond to it. Or at times, don’t respond to it. But if you know me, you know that I am not very good at that. Work in progress here…”Hi!” The urge to respond usually outweighs the voice in my head saying, “don’t do it!” My intention not being to clap back, but to explain and send some warmth… (thank you to my husband and the big Man upstairs for always reminding me to keep the love in my heart.) But, at some point you have to come to accept that someone who thinks what you have done or said is a bit cray cray, doesn’t wanna hear you out — at least not right away. Time and time again I drive myself into a tizzy trying to get someone to see where I am coming from — only to feel anxious and misunderstood. Then I had an epiphany.

Not everyone is going to “get you”. Say whaaaattttttt?

You can explain where you are coming from and where your heart is, until you are blue in the face, but sometimes you just need to leave things be. This is very tough for me. Like the majority of you reading this, there are probably those people in your life that you have always had a really hard time upsetting. But what I have realized, is that this fear of upsetting people has held me back from doing what I want to do and being who I want to be — paralyzed by the fear that they may not like what I do, or who I am growing to be. A writer who (is trying to), connect people and who is awkwardly candid.

I have been writing since I was a child. In my diary, poetry and really any place I could put pen to paper. Then, POOF! Here comes the 21st century. Facebook and Instagram and blogs, oh my! Now, all of us wannabe writers have a place to practice our passion for all of the world to see… and critique. I’m going to be really honest here. I am someone that has always enjoyed being liked by my peers or by anyone really. I want people to like me. OK I said it. I mean, does anyone really like being disliked? And so, I have lived my whole life trying not to upset anyone or to ruffle any feathers. Until the year 2018. “Why?” You may ask. So, I’ll answer your question with a question. Why is a singer a singer? A dancer a dancer? A hurdle jumper a hurdle jumper? (okay that was a weird example, but you get the point.) Because, dangit, it’s what they love to do — and I just can’t fight it any longer!

Even if it’s just via blog posts, I believe that our inert desire as humans is to feel connected and to relate to one another. To feel a sense of belonging in this big confusing world. Okay… woah… cool it Mother Theresa.

So, I write. I push the boundaries of what people are comfortable talking about and with that, comes the divide. Those who find it incredibly relatable and awesome and those that think it’s strange or downright offside. I gotta be okay with that. I am working on being okay with that.

Here’s the thing. I write about things I’ve been through, feelings I’ve experienced, or things I have had discussions about with friends (or strangers), that I found interesting. I bring up “the flip side” for arguments sake – always daring you to think about both sides of the story. I push myself and hopefully my readers, to expand their minds and their hearts. To reflect, to grow and to know that they are not alone in this endeavour. Out there, there is someone who can relate to you.

My entire life, I have struggled with feeling understood. I am that friend that sends five rambling texts because I just cannot possibly explain myself in one brief message. I am a talker and a fixer. So how can someone like that also be okay with pushing the limits and potentially rubbing people the wrong way? How can someone like that be okay with the fact that there are people out there that may take things personally or think that I am off my hinges?

Cue mantra: Come to the understanding that not everyone will understand where you are coming from. Not everyone wants to hear you out and not everything can be fixed. Do you. Live your life. Live your best damn life. [Insert mind explosion emoji here.]

I find solace in the fact that with certainty 100% of the writers in this world, whether they are a novel writer, newspaper writer, journalist, or a silly blog writer – none have everyone’s nod of approval. So, this girl that enjoys being liked by everyone, is learning how to be okay with not being everyone’s cup of tea. I’m a mildly invasive spicy chai, and you prefer a mild rooibos.

I gotchu… even if you don’t get me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Latest Posts

  • Inward and Onward
  • The Metamorphosis that is Motherhood
  • The Power of Perspective
  • Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Power Smoothie
  • Navigating The Social Media Platform

Tags

bottle feeding breastfeeding c-section cancer doula family feeding baby firsts first time mom fitlife foodlife friendship journey momlife motherhood my life parenting postpartum real life self growth survivor
Time management in motherhood ⏰ . . . How do we Time management in motherhood ⏰ .
.
.
How do we manage time when it feels like there is never enough of it once baby arrives?
.
I used to hear the above quote a lot — “sleep when the baby sleeps.” But for so many of us mamas, there are a plethora of reasons why this may be difficult.
.
We would rather bathe, tidy up the house, make a phone call, have some down time because well, being woken up abruptly by a crying baby makes a nap sometimes not feel worth it. Or what if your baby is like mine was and doesn’t nap for longer than 20 minutes at a time? 😯
.
A tip I always give mamas is that maybe you don’t sleep every time the baby is sleeping but aim to try to have a little rest every other day at least. Schedule it in. Be intentional. This takes the pressure off feeling like you ‘should’ be sleeping when on Wednesday you decide to devote that time to tinkering around with the other things on the list that also have the ability to fill your cup.
.
So sure, sleep when the baby sleeps... sometimes. 😉
Getting outdoors 🌿 . . . As a mother, it is tou Getting outdoors 🌿
.
.
.
As a mother, it is tough to get many quiet moments alone. Some of us maybe even feel a bit guilty for yearning for it. Dang that mama guilt hey? But if there is one piece of advice I can give all the women out there putting in the work raising up these littles — it’s get outdoors. Alone.
.
There is something about nature that brings us back to earth from the chaotic orbit that can be motherhood. Fill your cup. Fill it right up from the inside out; and then pour back into your family from a more balanced version of yourself. 💛
.
Today’s selfie brought to you by yours truly, in my happy place.
Well played pregnancy! So, what are some ways we c Well played pregnancy! So, what are some ways we can combat the dreaded morning/evening/all day nausea?
.
.
.
Vitamin B6 - a well researched nutrient that can help ease nausea! Aim for 25mg every 8 hours and look for the active form, pyridoxal-5-phosphate. Don’t be alarmed if urine looks bright yellow as a result.
.
Ginger - a medicinal root that’s been around for centuries. Recommended dose is 1000mg/day but divided into 3-4 doses to avoid heartburn.
.
Magnesium - used to help relax muscles which may be useful in calming that overactive gag reflex associated with vomiting. It’s also been shown to aid in reducing the risk of unstable blood sugar which may also increases the risk of nausea during pregnancy.
.
Some other remedies include essential oils like peppermint, lemon, grapefruit or citrus blends and acupressure bands — just make sure you consult a specialist in these fields if you decide to try them out!
.
.
.
Hope this helps some of you queasy mamas. ♥️
Load More… Follow on Instagram
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Phone

Hi, I’m Kim!

I am a DONA Intl member Doula, pre/post-natal fitness trainer and certified holistic nutrition consultant offering support in the Tri-Cities just outside of Vancouver, BC. Get in touch

  • About
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Phone

Copyright © 2021 KIMBERLEY HAYDEN · made with love and caffeine by Jacaranda.