If you have had a baby, then the phrase “Can I bring you anything?” is probably very familiar to you. What’s also familiar is the polite response I just know came out of your mouth… “No no, I am good, thank you!”
Say “Yes! BRING ME ALL OF THE THINGS!”
Despite what you may think, the person asking, generally wants to help out. They really don’t want to show up empty handed. That said, in my 30 years, I have only experienced one new mommy friend reply “yes.” ONE. We are so afraid to burden anyone, to be of trouble, that we quickly shut this request down and go hungry — when we could be snacking on some miss Vickies while our visitor rocks our baby to sleep. Just sayin’. Now, before becoming a Mom, I would have showed up, hands empty and all smiles. But now that I have gone through this very overwhelming newborn stage (twice), even when I get a “No”, I bring something anyways — and that thing is usually food. But, let’s go over some great things to suggest to your ever so eager, guest to bring when they come to meet your bundle of joy. Practice in the mirror ladies, “Yes… yes. Sure. Please. Oh that would be great, Thank you.”
Lets get real. Is food ever a bad idea? This is where you can answer “no” and I won’t cyber slap you, promise. Because, DING DING DING… you are correct. Food is always a good idea. Maybe it’s some fresh fruit, veggies, or a loaf of bread. OR, maybe its donuts, muffins, or a carton of chocolate milk. Girl, I’m not judging you. Another helpful food item, is an easy supper. A frozen pizza, or lasagna… something mama can throw in the oven with one hand, while she has a baby in the other. So… food. ALL OF THE FOOD. A gift card to a grocery store close by, or an online grocery delivery company, are both great ideas. Personally, I love to gift my new mommy friends a food delivery from a local company here on the mainland. I was gifted this when I had my second, and it literally brought tears to my eyes. They offer a variety of healthy frozen suppers and snacks. Check them out at www.batchfood.com.
2. Household Items
Dish Soap, paper towel, windex, toilet paper. Get the point? Any silly weird household item that demands a trip to Walmart, can screw off, and be put into your guests ever so willing, hands. Now, if you were really clever, you would have them give the toilets a clean while they are at it, but hey… one thing at a time.
All of the pleasure, but none of the guilt. You know that guilt… when you fork over $5.50 for a coffee, and you can’t stop imagining the hungry kids in the world, while you sip your half fat, extra foam latte. Why is it, when you didn’t have to fumble through your pockets to pay for it, it takes away a bit of the sting… Am I right? And, the beauty is — chances are your visitor secretly really wanted that latte too, and since you requested one, well she better get one too, and it wasn’t her idea, so it’s like totally different, and not the same, and damn, that sweet little caramel drizzle gets me every time… (insert drooling emoji here.) “Oh and ah, a fudge oatbar too… please.” Hey, maybe she will find herself signing up for World Vision tomorrow, or donating to the local food bank trying to balance out her karma — so really this whole latte decision was a good idea.
Once you accept that your guest really does want to bring you something, it gets easier to suggest things. Why is it we as moms, heck, as women, are so self-righteous and say “no” when everything in us is screaming “yes!” or if you’re a millennial, “yassssss.” My one, I repeat, one, friend that said “yes” actually caught me off guard. That’s how used to being declined I am. It was refreshing and liberating to hear “yes actually, I’d love a coffee and maybe some snacks?” I showed up like an eager little apprentice — shopping bag dangling in front of her as she opened the door, like “Look! look! I did it! I provided!” I came out feeling like the winner, and she was fed and cared for, just like every new mom deserves to be. So, the next time Great Auntie Eleanor calls before she comes over and asks “Do you need anything dear?” All together now… “HECK YAAAAAA!”
*Cough cough, I mean, “Yes, yes please.”