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Postpartum Doula & Certified Fitness Trainer Offering Support in the Tri-Cities

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And then, there were three.

July 30, 2018 By Me2Admin

Our first night home with Viola and how I came face to face with the reality of parenthood.

As I hobbled my way out of the maternity ward, barely able to stand upright after my caesarean, I could hardly believe they were letting us leave with this little living person. Didn’t they like, send you home with a nurse or a manual? Something? Anything?

Regardless of my relentless begging to stay where it was safe, and there were lots of hands on deck, we were sent home from the hospital. My Mom and husband wanted desperately to get back to the comforts of home, but I was anxious and considering moving into the hospital, if they would have me.

Here’s the thing, I’m a realist.

I knew what we were going home to, to some degree. Two dogs (one that had a history of not liking children), my brother, sister-in-law, my Mom, and my Dad. I anticipated it would be anything less than relaxing. But, I was looking forward to my bed, and not being interrupted by someone every half-hour. (Insert laughing and pointing at you emoji here.)

We got home around 9:00pm on a Friday night. A strange time to come home. I had always imagined coming home on a sunny Saturday afternoon, the birds chirping, your house clean and bright. Instead, it was a cold, rainy October evening, and I remember feeling a little depressed about the reality compared to the fairytale I had painted in my mind.

I slowly stumbled into the house, not quite upright, barely lifting my feet off the ground. This prompted Jack (dog #1) to yelp and bark with concern, which caused Charlie (dog #2) to join in, which woke up the baby, which made me mad, which made my brother laugh (jerk)… Welcome home!

The house was dimly lit, and the rain gently splashed on the windows. Viola was passed around for everyone to meet, and I got situated in the arm chair. I nursed her a bit, and then everyone decided they were ready for bed, as it was after all, close to 10:00pm now and we better all get a good sleep, as tomorrow would be the first day of parenting in the real world!

I went to get up from the chair, and realized that I couldn’t. WTF. I literally could not pull myself to an upright position. The searing pain hit me like a freight train. I began to panic, wondering how I was going to manage without a nurse and a hospital bed that had a button to go up and down as I needed. Finally, with Ivan’s help, we got upstairs and fumbled around with our toothbrushes and pajamas. We transferred Vi into her bassinet beside the bed, and gazed at her for a moment as she slept peacefully. SLEEP. Why are we not asleep too?! MY BED, MY SWEET, GLORIOUS BED. YES.

I stood beside the plush mountain of memory foam pillow-top, ready to jump in, but then stopped. How would I get into this beast? I was beginning to think I was going to need a bell. “Ding Ding, Oh Ivan!” He assisted me as I slowly managed to get horizontal, my eyes wet with tears from the struggle. Finally, we were under the duvet, eyes already heavy with sleep, I sighed. “Goodnight,” I said to Ivan. “Goodnight my love,” he replied. I closed my eyes ready to sleep the night away.

“WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”

And that, my friends, was how parenthood smacked me in the face.

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bottle feeding breastfeeding c-section cancer doula family feeding baby firsts first time mom fitlife foodlife friendship journey momlife motherhood my life parenting postpartum real life self growth survivor
“I’ll do it later.” Famous words by... me! “I’ll do it later.”

Famous words by... me! Ha! I am so guilty of shelving the things that I find the least exciting. Tax season? Worst! 

The problem with doing this is that these tasks don’t just go away and whether we realize it or not, they weigh us down. We can keep working on the things we love but if we don’t take care of the ‘housekeeping’ items, we get held back. 

So write a list of all those little annoying tasks/errands that need to be done and start check them off! ✔️ 

📸 @jamalamyaphotography
Where my ‘super feelers’ at? 🙋🏼‍♀️ Where my ‘super feelers’ at? 🙋🏼‍♀️

When I was a teenager, I used to go to parties (sorry mom) and have a blast. Except I would leave feeling heavy and emotionally exhausted. I had a tendency to open myself up to all of the vibes in the room and carry them with me when I left. Of course I didn’t understand what was happening until adulthood but it’s so very clear now. 

I am an empath. Through and through. 

Toss me into a room and I’ll feel allllllll of the highs and lows bouncing around. It is both my superpower and my greatest challenge. I’ve had to work hard at setting up boundaries and being aware of what I let in and how I carry it as I tend to carry the weight of the world on my 5,2” shoulders. I want everyone to be happy and to feel seen — for all the icky vibes to diminish leaving only good ones in their wake. 

But this is not reality. Life is not always peachy and so I’m constantly working at being okay if everything is not so ‘okay’ — allowing things to flow and heal in their own time. Allowing people to feel what they need to feel and not carrying the weight of it all into my personal life. It’s still a work in progress. Ha! 😅

I thank motherhood once again for helping me learn these things about myself and be willing to dive in and grow. 

What’s your super power? How does it serve you and how does it challenge you? 

📸 @jamalamyaphotography
Do you ever feel like this is what shows on the ou Do you ever feel like this is what shows on the outside but what’s happening in the inside on a little more like: 😭🤯😜😅😎

This week has had a heaviness to it. So many conversations with friends have reiterated that. One minute I feel pretty good about things and the next I feel like I just need a good cry to release it all. Should I send this to my counsellor today before our session to prepare her? 😆 

But for real. I’m feeling like this platform needs some positivity and vulnerability so there it is. It’s okay if you’re having a hard time right now and it’s okay if your feelings are all over the place. You’re in good company. ✌🏻

Drop a few words below for where you’re at right now. 🤍

📸 @jamalamyaphotography
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Hi, I’m Kim!

I am a certified pre/post-natal fitness trainer, Holistic Nutrition Consultant, Doula and Wellness / Life Coach offering support in the Tri-Cities and virtually from the comfort of your home. Get in touch

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